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Q​-​pup and the 15 Layers of Doubt

by Q-pup

supported by
Esteban Hernández
Esteban Hernández thumbnail
Esteban Hernández Amazing album, great place to start diving into the depths of Q-Pup's incredible repertoire. Gotta love the overlapping voices and raw guitar sounds. Favorite track: 3rd and Hennepin (Optimism Rekindled).
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1.
theres no make believe no hidden trees no living god or something to aspire theres no make believe no empty seas no burning hole of hell on dark on fire i want to go there i want to leave i want to need this more than anything make believe
2.
Impulsivity 01:22
soft outward touch blind intervention to things that i dont understand lost in the movement lost in my mind christ i dont know how or why i do this all the time but i hear one by one we kill them in the thousands
3.
you have lungs i see you breathing you have eyes im sure theyre looking down so remind so are mine you probably get this all the time i dont need to know your name there will be some sort of disappointment, disappearing strangers i dont need the shame i dont regard myself that way i dont know you all that well i dont know what you are made of and frankly i dont know if you have guts i dont know why why do i do this all the time i swear youre different i could talk to you 30 minutes on the stairs selling mescaline and trading thoughts and blood with strangers i dont care but ill meet you on the ground i swear i dont write songs like this that much maybe thatll tell you something about me tell me something about you i dont care tell me something i dont care what it is i dont care how it sounds tell me something and maybe ill stick around tell me something tell me something and maybe we'll stick around
4.
Tarot River 03:04
god am i wasting my time am i wasting my time not everyone can be a lover and somehow survive not everyone can be the person that people despise not everyone can see the future while closing their eyes i am young, im afraid, i am 15 years late i am done bitter taste unkept shade, i am always awake i am one so i say i am melting through the curtains so i say i am better unburdened so i say i would hate to be like you what if that were true and i can see land mines and i can see lightbulbs and i can see trumpet case keys and i can see cushions upon which im dying caught comforting passion with grief if you leave i wont if you leave i wont if you leave i wont push it out of my face
5.
maybe when i die i will walk with some intention maybe when i die ill speak with divine perfection i will lift my arms above my head i will fall below i will lift my arms beneath my head
6.
so what can i do can i search for ancient meaning denouncing phantoms in my bed misquoting coleridge in my head repeat the catchphrase i am leaving take the 12 to uptown station punch my leg and close my eyes force thoughtless grapes to tear and swell pronounce my life a living hell repeat the catchphrase i am bleeding and justice to the empty jar the weeping bard the tarot card and the incontinence exaltation of the open sore the wanting more the missing door and my torn inheritance i could be starving so what can i say can i grant an endless whining proposing echoes from my couch you swear youve got me figured and leave the room complex defying take the pistol from the mattress put 15 holes into the wall each one remembers me a dancer im not the one with fucking answers some things cant be helped at all and silence for the empty skull the silent pull the blood and wool and tombstones and collision and pious i am leaving full of catholic cull the charging bull protects my recognition im so scared of dying and now i will sink cold air the lake and the road the candle and dice spinning hand the infant i sold and now i will sink cold air descension corrode the life of a fist making man the evil i hold and now i will sink cold air the cane and the crutch the power of drought proof plans the fortunate touch and now i will sink cold air i dont mean to cry i know that you needed my help im too scared to try and now i will sink cold air (i was born in the cradle of empty rooms) i crave something new (i still cradle the hope ill be living with) in garbage collecting my lives (in the next 15 years tell me you'll be the same) what am i to you and now i will sink cold air (i was born in the cradle of hopeless fights) prepare for the fight (i still fight for the power to be living at night) my knuckles collapse when i hold (and i crush with my hand every hope that i made) my skin towards the light and now i will sink cold air the circle is small i cant do this all by myself i cant do this at all
7.
Exoneration 01:58
king of the world handsome and mean how i saw him last night in a dream 15 reasons i cant fall asleep im fine king of the world king of my heart how the alcohol tore him apart 15 cancers and each of them start with me trash beget trash beget trash built upon secrets and none of them last built upon immigrants sick of their past none of this works like it should like my mother said that it would 8 years old in the graveyard my father bows his head to me "Your grandfather died when I was 10 years old I had to learn what to be."
8.
dopamine bridge to your eyes dopamine bridge to your mouth dopamine bridge connect us and count down the time before i realize dopamine bridge you are a figment dopamine bridge you are my mind dopamine bridge no one will fight you dopamine bridge you are alive
9.
maybe i quiet and cunning project it all what i describe as ephemeral what i describe as my breath maybe i stupid and running neglect it all what i describe as a miracle what i describe as the rest life underwhelming and lonely i am doing all i can when im not thinking about it i will crush it with my hand when im not thinking about it i am sick and i am glad lift your hatred unto paradise i will stare in the eye concept fire unto sacrifice i will live and it will die nothing will make me not want to be hidden nothing will make me not want to be safe nothing will make me not want to be wonderful i am, im in fighting shape pure reason on the clouded floor pure reason on the shrine what part of sacrifice do they not understand nothing will i have something maybe i realized it wasnt impersonal wanted to die but im strong maybe i wanted to see what would happen next wanted to let you conceal my neck maybe ive never been wrong life underwhelming and lonely i am doing what i know all of the bridges surround me one is broke and one is cold all of the answers protect me i will be the last to go
10.
HOW 02:04
it does stand to reason that im thawing out my chest and it does stand to reason that my good is not my best and im sick of the crushing amount of broken minds and understand i am sick all the time i am breathing the same air that i have breathed before and it tastes like the inside of my mouth someone has to let me out of here sweet release from broken plaster i dont think that my death could come faster nobody reads it all its common sense
11.
Tyrkja Gudda 04:45
down to the carpet tear my eyelids sicilian something throw me a bowl of wasted time rest on my shoulder tried and tested sicilian something crush my larynx drought defined i want to help you want to die out of the way you dont need any help to recover the cold in this one you dont need any help to recover the spirit theyve lost i have found in your gut i swear ill drown leave me hear will you please lead me to something so ive got something to do like i found how i knew to control all the eyes upon your shirt around, sweat and unraveled like i knew i was supposed to find this funny i am warm and you repeat the sound pray for the snow and pray for the daughters pray for the moon and pray for the sons kidnapped and torn from their families i cant forget what ive done saint lucy will you bury me in istanbul i can hear my children calling from their graves saint lucy will you bury me in iceland i would rather be a gambler than a slave a little foresight a little knowledge of this would go a long way a little foresight a little knowledge of this would go a long way the fortune teller calls my name are you stupid or insane 15 rounds into your brain wont help at all down to the carpet tear my eyelids sicilian something throw me a bowl of wasted time ill wear your eyes if you wear mine rest on my shoulder sicilian something crush my larynx drought defined i want to help i want to die saint lucy will you bury me in big fork i crave a certain pleasure from your chest saint lucy will you bury me in pipestone i can smell the earth you never could have guessed claveles y rosas
12.
i have enough people looking down on me i have enough people thinking you are wrong i have enough people thinking theres something wrong with me i have enough people looking down on me i tried so hard to be different when i was 16 i didnt think it would bite me like this i tried so hard to be special when i was 16 i didnt think it would come true that it would be like this ghost of each arm that i held in mine ghost of each arm that i held in mine ghost of each optimistic spirit of revitalized young man that had to die ghost of each part of me that held another part of me lifted up like beacons to the sky i have enough of you i have enough of you catchers mitt and broken hammer on the ceiling disco ball and broken chain empty trash can water rusting out your insides i cant feel like this again i am covered in the water i can feel it it is dripping down my neck and on my skin you are smiling i am smiling we are nodding at each other i am sad and you are smiling are you happy are you happy now? are you happy now im not but thats ok i dont need that much right now or ever anyway
13.
over and over i touch the grain staring at staring at over and over i fan the flame stopping at stopping at i stare at the night sky i feel ashamed i stare at my face and i look the same i look at my head and i have no sense of pain where is everything i trust (somebody help me out of here somebody help) where is everyone i trust (somebody help me out of here) empty head and Cassius Clay empty fist and broken strain tightened rope and broken fray scar on my neck scar on my neck i am ashamed scar on my neck scar on my neck i see where i dangled a hundred good years a way i look at my face and i see every aspect of everything that i hate looking out i feel ashamed
14.
oh stolen wine you were here with me you lost your mind oh cardboard shield when our fingers touched it wasnt real and I try to hold my lantern high i was scared of imposing a will which id rather not try oh hanging shade i am scared of you dont run away oh fire alarm will you stay with me i meant no harm i belong to the band
15.
i dont mind it slouching tongue and frostbit hands on the dissolver i dont mind it crimson water ice hot fever under my skin and where is the feeling that you said you could make every time that i open my mouth i make a mistake every time that i open your pages i feel i might break oh what have i done what have i done the sensation of losing sensation is climbing my neck oh i love my vegetables wrapped in benign disrespect werent you supposed to be lovely werent you supposed to be kind you were supposed to be human but not all the time i dont mind it ancient gold and the slight tremor i feel in your laugh i dont mind it empty rooms filled with the day i was born and the day i will die and i cant respect what i lose and where is the garden of untouchable yield every time that i whisper your name i cant tell if its real every night that i spend on the floor and cant help what i feel oh what have i done what have i done i dont mind it mixed emotions i am wanting it is fine i dont mind it gross intentions the smile in the mirror the contest is mine and where is the vortex and where is the pain every time that i call out the answer i call it the same every time that you summon the sickness its me that i blame i know what ive done i know what ive done i know what ive done i know what ive done i know what ive done

about

Q-pup is still Luke Roberts
hope you like it

2020 update: Very tempted to delete this release from the internet.
Opted to leave it for posterity's sake.

credits

released February 3, 2016

Album photo by Cooper Silburn

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about

Q-pup Minneapolis, Minnesota

Q-pup was Luke Roberts

for my current project go to

littlefaminecarpet.bandcamp.com

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